I didn't want to come home.
I wanted, more than anything, to see my family again. It was a year and a month to the day since I left home, and I missed them more than anything. But my heart was in Switzerland. How could I leave ?
Going back there after working in Turkey, I had 10 days. 10 of the best days of my life. I was excited to go home.. But I couldn't think about the fact that I would leave Geneva and never go back there.
There is one thing I must say about studying abroad: once you meet new people and do new things and see new places, you realize how small your world really was. There are bigger and newer things to see and more souls to find. New friends to make and new land to tread on. I missed my friends in Malaysia and my room and so much of it but I couldn't tear myself away from the souls here I had grown to love.
Coming back here, I wandered around in a daze for a few days. I longed to see my friends and I longed to see the one with those green eyes. I craved for pasta and gelato and the safeness of the city there. That I could go out at night with nothing but my skateboard and have a good time. That I could put on my running shoes and plug in my earphones and run around the city in the morning. That Nutella was so freakin cheap. Oh, how my heart ached.
I couldn't bake - the times working in the pastry section in Turkey had rather ruined my mood for more baking. I managed to cobble together one tart, one measly little tart when I used to bake twice in a single day. My friends intervened and popped over to my house today. We didn't do much, and they made me talk my heart and soul out. I expected to hurt. And it did.
And now, it feels like I've taken a breath of fresh air.
I still miss Geneva horribly. And I'm fighting hand and tooth and nail to get back into Europe - I've been told it's hard to get a visa to work there now but I am nothing but determined to go back there. But for now, I'm happy to be home to receive the hugs from my parents and my sister, the steady arms and laughter of my dear, dear girls and the time and resources I have and need to get where I want.
The world is only as big as you let it be.
For the tart shell:
(Adapted from Pierre Herme: pastries)
150g butter
75g sugar
A pinch of sea salt
1 vanilla pod
30g ground almonds
1 egg
250g flour
1 beaten egg, for brushing
1. Preheat the oven to 180C. Butter the inside of a 9 inch, deep tart ring and set it on a tray lined with a silpat mat or parchment paper.
2. Cream the butter, sugar and salt until light and fluffy. Scrape the seeds from the vanilla pod and add it to the mixture with the ground almonds and beat until combined.
3. Beat in the egg, then the flour.
4. Roll the pastry out on a floured surface to a 1/4 inch. Cut out a circle to fit the base of the pastry ring, then cut 1 inch wide strips to line the sides of the ring. Press so the sides adhere to the base, prick the base with a fork and chill in the fridge for one hour.
5. Line the unbaked shell with parchment paper and fill it up with baking beans. Bake the shell for 20 minutes, then remove from the oven and remove the parchment paper with the beans.
6. Brush the inside of the shell with the beaten egg and bake for another 10-15 minutes, until evenly browned and cooked through. Remove and leave to cool.
For the pistachio filling:
150g white chocolate
2 tbsp milk
3 tbsp pistachio paste
1. Melt everything together in a saucepan over low heat, stirring until well combined. Pour into the cool tart shell and pop in the fridge to chill until set, around 2 hours.
For the chocolate topping:
150g dark chocolate
3 tbsp milk
1. Melt everything in a saucepan over low heat, stirring until well combined. Add more milk if needed, one tbsp at a time until the filling becomes like a ganache, a thick chocolate sauce, if you will. For some reason, dark chocolate always requires more milk than white.
2. Pour over the set pistachio filling and leave in the fridge for at least 8 hours, or overnight so it sets completely. Cut with a warm knife, wiping the knife between each cut to obtain clean slices.
