Simple Fried Rice and Saying Thank You.

I am, once again, working. Only this time, I am in the kitchen 11 hours a day, five days a week. Which isn't bad, considering the fact that I get a weekend of sorts every five days. Even if my weekends turn out to be Wednesday's and Thursday's.

I am here in my little room, on the fifth floor of a building right next to the hotel. I am lying on my stomach in bed as I type this, using my mobile data because I have no internet connection. To my left is my table filled with bananas and stupid amount of chocolate - which reminds me, I need to get a jar of Nutella again soon. Finished mine this morning.

A little further away is the bathroom with a bathtub I never use - my break times consist of runs and quick showers at the gym and when I'm back from work, a long bath is the last thing on my mind. A little nearer to me is the kitchen which I've never used. Up till today, that is.

But let's backtrack a little.

I've been here before, in the kitchen. Of the place I work, I mean, not this little thing in my room. It was November last year, I think, that I literally begged for an interview with the department. I tried so hard to convince her, that pretty lady, to give me a shot. Me, of all the mad amount of people who slipped in an interview with their files full of documents like encyclopedias, was given a chance to go to the kitchen for a trial.

It was December last year that I came here for the first time. I remember being scared sick and wanting to just crawl back into bed. I went into the kitchen and met the first person who would teach me how to do the random little things that they needed here and there - pluck some herbs, chop tomatoes.. And then someone slid a black plate full of sweet smelling bread in front of me while I was concentrating on my bunch of rosemary.

"Brioche," said a voice. "You want some ?"

I looked up and saw a smiling face and an extended hand. I had met my first friend.

I met everyone else after that. They were all guys and a girl, an intern as well who had been there for months now. I clung to her like glue that day - she was very kind. As were they all. I remember that the most. I also remember shaking their hands before I left and not knowing whether I would see them again - and also asking the chef where he was from and telling him I loved the place. I think I was supposed to have done my homework and tell him where he was from but.. Oh well.

A week later, I got the job. I nearly cried.

And then I came back in January, not knowing what to expect. Would it be different now that I was not here just for a day ? No. They were as nice as I remembered. And they remembered me.

It was an odd sort of feeling, to be remembered by people you just met for a day. I liked it.

I didn't talk much at first - I barely spoke french and they barely spoke English. But we tried and there were a few who spoke to me more - the girl being one of them, having impeccable English - and she helped me translate and kept me company. Then the jokes started - and I had to be louder - yelling YES CHEF during service - and I made more friends. And I proceeded to fall in love with the people.

Which was why I found myself stirring a pot of chicken curry and pouring it over a bed of fried rice, and carrying it down to the room of my Italian friend. Italians could love rice and sushi, who would've thought ?

It was a thanks of sorts from me. For the brioche. And the kindness they showed me since I got here. It's only been two weeks, I still have a long way to go but I am definitely happy. I only hope to improve and help them more, but in the meantime, I am very content with cooking them fried rice, and snacking on cheese and watching their silly antics and listening to Italian rap.

Who would've thought someone like me could end up here ?

Thank you. For making this place like a home to me. I doubt anyone ever reads this - let alone the people I am writing about (!) but thank you. Hugs and kisses.

I cooked this on a wonky stove with a wonky pan. I had nothing else so my measurements are stupid. Forgive me. I am just happy it turned out to be edible. And that my rice-loving italian friend finished the entire bowl.

Simple fried rice:

2 fistfuls of rice

2 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 onion, minced

2cm knob of ginger, minced

1 small carrot, diced

1/2 cup baby peas (petit pois)

50g lardons, diced

2 eggs, beaten

Soy sauce, to taste

1. Put the rice in the pot with about 2 cups of water. Bring to the boil, cover and simmer until cooked. Spread out and leave to cool.

2. Fry the lardons until crispy and they release their lovely fats into the pan. Put the lardons on a plate and fry the onions, garlic and ginger in the fat until fragrant.

3. Add the carrots and cook for a minute or two. Add the rice on medium heat and stir to break it up a little, add a tablespoon of soy and toss to mix. 

4. Lower the heat and pour over the beaten egg. Toss the rice so it gets coated and add another tablespoon of soy. Toss in the peas and lardons and stir over medium heat until nicely browned and smelling like a chinese kitchen. Taste and add more soy if you like. 

5. Serve at once. Maybe with a drizzle of sesame oil, with some curry on the side. Or a fried egg on top. Or some soup. Whatever makes you happy.

Espresso and Praline Sandwich Cookies.

I am starting work in two days. 

Normally that wouldn't bother me, but now I have absolutely no idea of my working schedule, no idea what time to show up, no idea what to bring and also no heating element in my room. Seriously, it's cold in there. Oh, and I have no wifi. Damn.

I am back in school campus in a room that is not my own as I type this. It feels good to have wifi again - not that I don't have it at all, I just have to depend on my little mobile phone and it's mobile data. Which makes youtube surfing a pain in the ass but then again, I'm cheap. I also spent a lot of money on my recent gallant around Europe so I think I can afford to skimp for now. My wallet is bleeding.

I made oreo truffles the other day in my new room. Or home. More accurately, my room that is now my home. They turned out ok I think, other than the fact that they were held together by peanut butter instead of cream cheese. Am I going to tell you about them today ? No. But I liked them. Or maybe it's just me.

I had a special guest pop over and make arancini as well. Which technically is more of an accomplishment since it requires stock and cooking and chilling and breading and frying as opposed to my truffles which just needed to be rolled and dipped but I have an unabashed sweet tooth and way too much chocolate sitting around so I needed to do something with them before I ate them (and so I made chocolate truffles and ate them anyway. Hey, I never said I was smart). Anyhoo, am I going to tell you about the arancini then ? No. But they were good. Damn good. And they had cheese in them. Mushroom risotto ? Stuffed with cheese and fried ? Good god, need I say more ?

So what am I going to tell you about ?

Coffee cookies. With praline filling.

I made this alongside my peanut butter and jelly cookies that I posted about recently. I wasn't supposed to be making anything out of syllabus but then I was thinking of my dad and how he loved anything coffee flavoured. And then I thought of my mum and how she didn't like anything coffee flavoured. But I remembered she did like nuts and then I saw praline paste which techically was a nut sometime ago and then I decided to put them both together in yet another sandwich cookie. Because why not.

So I mixed and rolled and cut and baked.

And broke some. 

And cobbled together a filling of praline paste of which I shall attempt to give measurements of later.

And then I piped and matched.

And piped.

And matched.

Until I got tired and decided to take photos instead. Then I ate them.

Espresso Shortbreads:

Recipe adapted from here.

I basically just followed the recipe to a T. Except I didn't put in any cardamom and I used coffee extract instead of grounds. I also used a fluted cutter because I was feeling particularly flowery.

As for the filing, I creamed 80g of butter with 40g icing sugar, then I added in around 20g of praline paste. I don't remember the exact measurements so feel free to tweak this to your liking - more praline paste if you want, but know that this will make the icing really soft and difficult to pipe. You can add more icing sugar to stiffen it up but then it'll be on the sweeter side. The trick is to find a delicate balance. Not sure if I got it, but then they were some good cookies.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Cookies, with love from Brussels.

Greetings from Brussels !

I am currently on holiday as I write this. As of today, I have been to Barcelona, Madrid and now the lovely Netherlands. And it's snowing !

I don't think I like the snow very much. 

Anyhoo, I am going to tell you about these cookies I made.

But before that, let me just announce that I am going to work soon. In Switzerland. And the thought of that is pretty damn terrifying. And so to ease the fear a little, I've run off to Spain and Amsterdam and now Belgium. I have eaten chocolate and cheese and chocolate and dried pineapple until my heart ached. I've dyed my hair red and black and red again and bought dresses and more chocolate and ran until I couldn't breathe. It's not exactly helping but it is a distraction, I suppose.

Am I okay ? Am I okay ? I've not known okay for such a long time now. Some days offer a brief reprieve but then somedays the demons come howling and I curl up in a shivering ball of nerves until morning comes and my roommate's alarm wakes me out of my sleep. And now I am to go six months without her and I find myself at a loss. I don't know what to do, really. Sleep with a knife and a bar of chocolate under my pillow, perhaps.

Don't ask me what happened. It's the bloody hormones talking. With a side of teen angst. Give it a day or two and I'll be fine. We are, after all, in the Grand City of Chocolate.

Baking heals. These cookies see, they help me. We got a chance to bake whatever we wanted the other day during pastry class and I chose peanut butter cookies because I've never actually made them like this - mine always seemed to include ridiculous additions (ahem, chocolate) and are stupidly large enough to float a party of six. I told the chef I'd make some nice peanut cookies and edited the recipe beyond recognition to the extent of being asked what and how-much-of-the-what I put in the cookie, I couldn't answer, having thrown in ingredients with reckless abandon. Whatever.

Then I rolled them by weight (pigs are flying as we speak), small (send help) and cross hatched their tops with a fork and baked them sans chocolate chips. And then I made a peanut butter filling and stuffed their insides with jam and ate them.

And then the hole in my heart filled up a little.

Do I have a story about how my mom used to make me pb&j sandwiches ? Nope. I grew up with my babysitter - my mom would make me tuna sandwiches or egg banjos. My babysitter would make me cheese and jam sandwiches. The peanut butter came a little later in life. Even then I was stupid - peanut butter and tuna ? Peanut butter and egg ? Errr.. Peanut butter and ketchup ? Peanut butter and cheese ? 

Yeah.. It took me a while to get it. Now please excuse me, I've got a lot of catching up to do.

With love from Brussels.

Peanut butter cookies:

75g butter

85g peanut butter

65g sugar

70g brown sugar

40g whole eggs

110g flour

1.5g baking powder

3g baking soda

1. In a stand mixer, cream the butter, peanut butter and sugars until light and fluffy.

2. Add the eggs and beat until well mixed. 

3. Sift together the flour, baking soda and baking powder. Add this to the creamed mixture in two batches, scraping down the sides of the bowl as you go. Stop the mixture as soon as the flour is mixed in.

4. Roll balls of dough around of around 1 tbsp each. Place them on lined trays. Using a fork, mark the tops of the balls with a crosshatch pattern, pressing them down slightly. Bake the cookies at 180C for around 20 minutes, until golden brown. Remove from the oven and leave to cool.

For the peanut butter filling:

80g peanut butter

30g butter

40g icing sugar

2tbsp cream

1. Beat the peanut butter and the butter until well creamed. Add the icing sugar and beat until fluffy. Add enough cream to obtain a piping consistency.

2. To assemble the cookies, pipe some peanut butter filling around the edges of half of the cookies. Fill the centers with some jam of your choice. Top with the remaining half of the cookies, pressing them so the filling comes out to the edges.

*I like them cold. Preferably with some milk.

Belgium, please be good to me.

Black Sesame Macarons in a Letter.

Dear younger Viyern,

Don't grow up so quickly.

There will be some days where you wish you were old enough. You'll want to get out of the school and go to college and then stay out and never go home. Take it from me - don't. High school will be one of the best times of your life. You'll grow out your hair. You'll finally tell that guy how you feel and you'll learn that love is all that it's cracked up to be and more. You'll be happy and you'll be heartbroken. You will also meet the craziest bunch of people who are going to become your best friends. Stay with them. Have sleepovers. Keep them.

You'll learn that the world can be as nice as it is cruel. I think you should know that already, my dear girl, and believe me, don't be afraid to talk to your mom about it. She might yell, she might cry, but she will be on your side. And sometimes, that's all that matters. Don't be scared to speak up and speak out. Stand up for yourself. There are bad people out there so surround yourself with good ones. Don't waste your time on people who treat you like an option. That guy who wouldn't even pick up your calls ? Stop. Calling. Life is too short to be wallowing over people like that. You have great friends who will surprise you and drag you out of bed. They will keep you awake all day and night and force you to watch movies with them. These are the ones you should spend your time on. 

There will come a time when you will feel like you're too big. Too fat. Too ugly. Too awkward. That's normal. But do not let them rule your life. I know you love to run, so go ahead. But please, remember to eat. There may come a time where you feel that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Believe me, kiddo, skinny will not always feel good. Maybe you'll find out sooner, maybe you'll find out later the hard way. Don't let that hinder you though, get back up, fix yourself and move on. Life is short so just eat that damn cookie.

Baking will save your life. Literally.

And that will prompt you to run off to culinary school. Skeptical aunts ? Show them what you can do. Bake them some cookies. Learn to cook awesome food. Who says culinary school is for stupid people ? Get those straight A's and then make them the best damn meal they've ever had. Chances are they'll be too busy stuffing their faces to make snarky comments. Why would you listen to them anyway ?

You'll graduate with a diploma. And if you're anything like I think you are, you'll run back off to familiar faces and beg them for a job. Working is hard, kid. Ten hours a day, sometimes seven days a week with a minimum wage. You're on your feet all the time and you'll be collecting scars, you clumsy nut. Why did you even go back there ?

I know, I know. It's the people, isn't it ?

It's that girl who works in the pastry section who lets you eat some truffles when you're sad, who pretends not to see when you scoop yourself some ice cream. It's that guy who sneaks chocolates for you when you're tired. It's that friend who'll annoy you to bits and make you laugh and keep you company when you work late nights. It's that chef who teaches you everything you want to know about pasta and risotto - the reason you'll be the only one in school who passes that exam. Remember to thank him. It's that annoying boss who'll nag at you every waking second but puts in a good word for you before you leave. It's that guy you fought with, hard, who'll become your best friend and save you ice cream after service.

And boy, will you learn. You'll make dimsum and Chinese New Year dishes. You'll learn to scoop ice cream like a pro and plate up desserts Asian-style. You'll learn that people spend that much money on water and that much money on bite sized sushi. Some will want to boil said sushi, rice and all. Don't judge. You'll learn how to make pizza and popcorn and cotton candy and talk to little kiddies. You might dabble a little in the world of fine dining - tiny, tiny portions of wonderful food that cost more than you'll ever afford. And you'll learn that home isn't a place.. It's the people.

And you'll go to Switzerland. Yes, Switzerland - it's the last place you'd think you'd ever end up, wouldn't you ? You'll eat a ridiculous amount of chocolates and cheese. You'll meet the nicest people and squabble with the not-so-nice ones. Learn. Try. Cry if you have to. Pick yourself up on the bad days and go kick ass on the good ones. In the end, I can tell you that you won't want to leave.

You won't be baking so much, and you love to bake. It is hard, but it makes you treasure the times you do. Macarons ? Been there, done that. Peanut butter and jam ? Check. Black currant caramel ? Ditto. Chocolate ? Pshht. Green tea ? Easy. Black sesame ? Why not ?

For the macaron shells:

15g almond flour

25g black sesame seeds

80g icing sugar

40g egg whites

20g caster sugar

Black food colouring (I used Wilton's gel food colouring)*

For the sesame ganache:

1/4 cup heavy cream

180g white chocolate, finely chopped

20g white sesame seeds

1/2 tsp sesame oil

*Try to use the gel ones since they won't water down your batter too much.

1. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

2. Make the macaron shells. Put the almond flour, sesame seeds and icing sugar in a blender or food processor, blend until very finely ground. Sieve into a bowl and set this aside.

3. Whip the egg whites until soft peaks form (where you can hold up the whisk and the whites droop off in a soft peak). Slowly add the sugar while whisking, then whip till you get firm, glossy peaks (when you hold up the whisk, the whites stand in a firm peak that doesn't droop). I usually just whisk this by hand - doesn't take that long.

4. Sieve half of the ground seed and nut mixture over the whites. Gently fold them in using a spatula, then sift over the remaining mixture. Fold it in until well combined. Add a few drops of black coloring at this point.

5. Then using the spatula, stir the batter while pressing it against the side of the bowl to deflate it ever so slightly. You want to get the right piping consistency, that is when you lift the spatula and draw a figure eight with the batter, it disappears into itself within 20 seconds. The texture of it will be like choux pastry dough. It takes a little practice but you'll get the hang of it soon enough :)

6. Put the batter into a piping bag and snip a 1cm opening. Pipe 1 inch circles on the parchment lined baking sheet, spacing them 1/2 an inch apart. Set them aside in a cool, dry place to dry for at least 45 minutes. They will form a shell - you can tell by touching them lightly with your finger. The batter shouldn't stick to your finger and it'll have a crust of sorts. Leave them to dry longer if necessary, it can take up to two hours especially if it's cold or rainy. 

7. Preheat the oven to 155C. When the macarons have formed a shell, bake them for 10-12 minutes, rotating the pan halfway through. Let them cool on the baking sheet. The shells should peel off the parchment paper easily when they're cool, if not, just pop them back in the oven for another 3-5 minutes. Let them cool completely before filling.

8. To make the filling, toast the sesame seeds in a dry pan over medium heat until fragrant and slightly browned. Pour in the cream and heat until just below boiling point. Turn off the heat and pop a lid on and leave it to infuse for at least 20 minutes.

9. Strain the cream through a fine mesh sieve and add enough cream to make it up to 1/4 cup. Heat this until just below boiling point again and pour it over the chocolate. Stir until completely melted and leave to cool until firm enough to pipe.

10. Fill a piping bag with the ganache and snip off the end. Pipe a little ganache on half the macaron shells - if you're lazy, just spread the ganache on with a spoon. Works as well. 

11. Use the other half of the macaron shells to sandwich the filled ones - pressing them together lightly until the filling comes to the edges of the macaron. Store in an airtight container in the refrigerator. 

Chocolate (Mousse) Understands.

I am tired.

In the past week, I have stayed up all night squabbling with my roommate about stupid things like whether to wake up in time for breakfast tomorrow and which lecturer was more irritating. I've also locked myself out of my room thrice in the same day because I keep forgetting to take my card key with me. I have watched more movies in a week than I would have in half a year if I was back home. I have also rescued a drunk friend - it was the first time I would see firsthand what alcohol and heartache could do to people.

It also means I've been horribly lacking of sleep. Now, I don't actually mind, because I've been doing things I actually like doing with people I actually like hanging out with. It's been a rough few weeks what with having to pick drunkards out of puddles of puke and losing a friend. I mean not only have I crawled under a table to wipe vomit out of my friend's bright red hair (I'd do it again, she's such a darling) but I have also been alienated because I started hanging out and grew attached to someone I just met.

Yeah. I was kept in the dark about that until I confronted him and for several reasons I won't mention, came to an agreement that I was to be a stranger to him from now on.

...

I can't even begin to describe the pain of that.

So, annoyed and drowsy, I trundled into class last Friday and pulled together a cake of sorts from my friend's recipe. The cake part didn't work so well - it came out looking like a tar road. I am still not entirely sure if it was a glitch in the recipe or due to my own sleepiness but then I scrapped it and made another cake which I soaked in some coffee syrup and covered in some chocolate mousse and then drowned in chocolate ganache a few days later. Basically, it was full on chocolate on chocolate. Exactly what I bloody well needed.

For the chocolate mousse:

150g dark chocolate

150g milk chocolate

5 eggs

3 tbsp sugar

125ml cream

50g sugar

For the mousse
Roughly chop the chocolate and melt over a double boiler. Remove from the heat. 

Separate the eggs. Beat the egg yolks with the sugar over a hot bain-marie until foamy and the sugar has dissolved. 

Whip the chilled cream until semi-stiff. Beat the egg whites with the 50g sugar until they form stiff peaks. 

Add the egg yolk mixture to the chocolate and stir in with a whisk. Place the whipped cream on top of the chocolate mixture and quickly mix in with the whisk before the mixture sets. Carefully fold in the beaten egg white.

Pour into glasses or fill a layer cake. Either way, just eat it, preferably chilled, with more chocolate.