Coffee Rolls and Learning to Walk Again.

Do you like cinnamon rolls ?

My mom does. My dad doesn't due to an aversion to anything cinnamon. My sister does. Me, I use them merely as a vehicle for frosting and sugar. So how does one make rolls, cinnamon or not, to appease the mob ?

Model them after everyone's favourite drink of course: Coffee.

Yes, I am perfectly aware that everyone wants their coffee done differently. Straight up black. Cold brewed. With milk. With foamed milk. With art. With condensed milk (the best). With nonfat milk, less sugar but hazelnut syrup and cream and some cinnamon over the top.

Let me get this straight. I really couldn't find the want in me to bake after coming back from Bodrum. It was hard to look at the oven or stove and not hear the chef's voice or seeing his expression in my head. I did not want to make cakes or cookies or brownies. To be honest, all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and watch French movies and practice speaking Italian while eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon. I was tired and sad and missing my friends in Switzerland. Then something changed. My girlfriends came to drag me out of the house. I made - albeit very slowly - a batch of brownies for another friend. I had a piece of brownie - the centre - the very best part. My sister handed me some little gifts she had gotten for me while I was away.

Slowly, I began to open my eyes. Slowly, I began to walk again.

Then one day, I asked my dad: hey, what do you think if I made cinnamon rolls, but instead of cinnamon, I put coffee instead ?

Dad, being the coffee addict that he was, responded with an enthusiastic WHYNOTILOVEITALREADY.

Okay, dad. Coffee rolls it is.

So I dragged my butt off the couch, gathered some ingredients, and began to feel my way through the baking process that was once so dear to me. It was easier, I found, to bake for someone else. My dad, who sat with me and wrote me long emails (yes, emails. He doesn't want anything to do with social media.) when I was crying my eyes out in Turkey. My dad, who chattered away when he drove me anywhere and everywhere, when he was so silent before. My dad, who fixed random items in my room to make it so easy for me to do virtually anything (charge my phone and use my laptop and ipad at the same time ? Sure !). My dad, who let me use his credit card to pay for two month's worth of gym membership in a country I was no longer in because I had issues with the cancellation.

Making some coffee rolls for him seemed so trivial after that.

So how did these turn out ?

I made a batch of 17 - I didn't cut them neatly enough and ended up with a lesser amount than I should have. After 24 hours - 6 of which we spent sleeping - There are now just 4 buns left. My dad hoovered them up. My sister happily nibbled through a few. Even my mom, who loves coffee but not in baked goods, ate a fair share.

Moi ? Je préfère l'espresso. Ou quand je veux me récompenser, un latte au thé vert. Chaud, s'il vous plaît. Avec du gâteau, pas de pain. Mais ça, je doit te dit, est tres bon.

I am so sorry for the many pictures to come, but these rolls were so ridiculously photogenic that I just had to post 294012489 pictures of them. Okay, six.

For the buns:
(Adapted from Lisa Yockelson's Baking Style)
3 tsp instant yeast
5 tbsp granulated sugar
4 cups all purpose flour
3/4 tsp salt
1/4 cups warm water
2/3 cups plus 3 tbsp milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp coffee extract
2 large eggs
105g butter, softened, cubed

1. In the bowl of a standing mixer, combine the yeast, sugar, flour and salt. Attach the dough hook and mix on low speed to combine the dry ingredients.
2. Add the water, milk, extracts and eggs, mix until the dough is moistened. Add the cubes of butter and knead the dough on medium speed until it is smooth and supple and no chunks of butter remain, about 10 minutes.
3. Remove the dough from the mixture and place in an oiled bowl. Cover with a damp cloth and leave to rise for 1 hour and 45 minutes to 2 hours, until doubled in bulk. Make the filling in the meantime.

For the filling:
1/2 cups granulated sugar
1/4 cups dark brown sugar
5 tsp instant coffee (not coffee grounds !)
100g butter, softened

1. In a bowl, whisk together the sugars and the instant coffee. Have the softened butter and a soft pastry brush at hand.
2. Once the dough has risen, tip it out onto a floured surface and gently press into a square to knock out the air. Using a floured rolling pin, roll the dough into a rectangle roughly 10 by 15 inches wide.
3. Brush the butter all over the surface of the dough, leaving a 1/2 inch border all around the sides. Sprinkle the sugar-coffee mixture all over the surface of the dough, pressing it down slightly so it sticks to the butter.
4. Roll the dough from the longer side into a jelly roll, making sure it is as tight as possible without tearing the dough. Seal the seams by pinching the dough together. Pull the roll lengthwise to lengthen it to about 20 inches. Cut into 20 evenly sized slices using a sharp knife. Leave the slices to stand while you prepare the pan.
5. Generously butter a 9 by 13 inch pan and a 9 by 9 inch pan. Arrange 12 slices on the larger pan, cut side up and 8 slices on the smaller pan, cut side up as well. Cover the pans with plastic wrap and leave to rise for 1 hour in a warm place.
6. Preheat the oven to 180C. Bake the buns for 25 minutes, rotating the trays halfway through the baking time to make sure they brown evenly. The fully baked buns should smell of coffee and be nice and brown on top.
7. Remove from the oven and let stand while you make the frosting.

For the frosting:
3 tbsp cream cheese
5 tbsp icing sugar
1/4 cup strong coffee, cold

1. Beat the cream cheese and icing sugar till smooth. Add the coffee and beat until it resembles a glaze consistency, adding more coffee or icing sugar as needed to adjust the thickness.
2. Using a fork, drizzle the frosting over the buns (or just dollop it on as you like, but in that case I would recommend that you double the frosting..) and serve immediately to anyone who appreciates their cup of joe in bun forms.