Double Chocolate Muffins with Roasted Cocoa

I am a chicken.

I had made up my mind to go to a certain somewhere (I'm not saying where exactly just yet) and ask if they're looking for part timers. I've been feeling jittery about it, though, and the reason for this is I've, um, been there before. As in, I know the people there. As in, they know who I am as well. I think I've been putting off going to ask for a job so long that I've managed to talk myself into thinking it's a stupid idea. What if they think I'm being weird for going to work there ? What if they see me in a different light after that ? What if they laugh in my face ? What if - I can't even bear to think about this - they don't want me there ?

Sigh. 

Kids, the moral of the day is, don't put off anything you're nervous about for too long. Heck, don't put it off at all. If you have a tooth that needs to be pulled, go have it pulled. Or better yet, pull it out yourself. If you keep thinking "oh, I'll just do it tomorrow", chances are, you'll never get around to doing it and the tooth will have become so painful and achey that even the mere thought of touching it sends you into a nervous breakdown. Then you begin to regret never going to pull it out in the first place and all you do is lie on the couch whining in pain until your mom comes up with a pair of pliers and yanks the goddamn tooth out of your gob. I'm just sayin'.

 I don't even know why I'm so scared. Okay, maybe I do. I had already dressed and was one shoe out of the door when I chickened out and kicked my shoe off and took refuge in the library upstairs. Then I texted my friend and asked if he could get the chef's number instead, so I could maybe text or call and not have to head there in person. I know, I know, I'm pathetic. 

My mom doesn't get it, though. She was surprised to find me still at home when she got back from work, then when I tried to explain why I didn't go, I got frustrated and proceeded to burst into rather annoyed tears. The worst part was, I couldn't stop, and then my mom (who gives a gem of an advice when I need it but rarely coddles me - that's probably why I'm deprived of hugs) just waited till I calmed down and said that "I shouldn't be overthinking this, because I'm probably just another girl who wants to look for a part time job there."

Oh. That certainly puts things into perspective. 

With a weight of my chest, I managed to crack a smile, then a laugh, then work up an appetite for dinner waaay too early. She took me out to get some food even though the sky wasn't even dark yet and it was so early, people would probably throw eggs at me if they knew what time I ate. Thanks, mom :)

Therefore, I hereby declare that I will go back there and I will ask if they have a job opening. Even if the opening is just for a month. Even if my knees shake and my palms sweat and I forget how to phrase a sentence (maybe not the latter because I am going to need to speak if I am to actually ask). This is so if I feel like chickening (is that even a word ?) out, I'll look back at this and feel horribly guilty and that'll prompt me to go anyway.

And now onto the muffins. I needed a one bowl recipe since water supply has been rationed for yet another month, and having too many bowls piling up in the sink would be a bad thing. So I thought, okay, muffins. Then I remembered that I spotted a recipe for roasted cocoa powder somewhere and then I thought, okay, chocolate muffins. And when chocolate muffins come about, you know there has to be chocolate chips. A chocolate muffin without chocolate chips is a sad chocolate muffin.

Have you ever heard of roasted cocoa powder ? Me neither. But it's impossible to get dark cocoa powder here, and I wanted my muffins to be black with cocoa. And if you've ever used the usual cocoa powder, or even Dutch processed, you'll know that they never come out looking that dark. Chocolatey, yes. But that wasn't enough. So I spread the cocoa out on my baking sheet and roasted it...

5 mins: nothing happened, gave it a stir.

10 mins: nothing happened, stirred it again.

15 mins: is anything ever going to happen ?

20 mins: ohcrapthere'ssmoke.

Luckily for me (and the muffins), it wasn't burnt. It smelled like roasted coffee beans though, and although I wasn't too sure if that was what it was supposed to be like, I went ahead and used it in the recipe anyway. You can see from my pictures that the muffins came out looking dark and mysterious and as black as midnight. My sister did try one a few minutes later and remarked they were yummy, but they weren't as chocolatey as she expected though. I'm not sure if it's because I over-roasted the cocoa/she has reaaaally high expectations of chocolatey things/roasted cocoa just tastes subtler. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

If you want to try roasting your own cocoa powder, refer to this post. I would recommend keeping an eye on them so you don't get them to smoking point, like me. I think they'll be more chocolate-tasting then.

Double Chocolate Muffins

Recipe adapted from The Pastry Affair

Makes 11

125g cake flour
44g roasted cocoa powder, or you use dark cocoa powder instead
50g buckwheat flour
100g brown sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
60ml vegetable oil
250ml milk
80g chocolate chips, plus another handful to scatter over the top

1. Preheat the oven to 180C. Line a standard 12-hole muffin tin with cupcake liners.
2. Sift the cake flour, cocoa powder, buckwheat flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt into a bowl.
3. In another bowl, whisk together the egg, oil, vanilla extract and milk. Make a well in the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ingredients. Stir to form a batter but don't over mix this as a lumpy batter makes good muffins. Stir in the chocolate chips.
4. Fill up the muffin tin until each indent is 3/4 full. Sprinkle over the chocolate chips and bake the muffins for 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted comes out with moist crumbs. Cool them in the tin for 10 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool completely. Or you could eat them warm, because you know, warm muffins are the best thing ever.

Raspberry Blondies with White Chocolate Chunks

March 26th: the government announced that the missing plane, MH370 had crashed into the Indian Ocean. No one on board survived.

My father and mother sat there, stone-faced, listening to the rest of the news. I had to force myself to keep quiet. And not bawl. I didn't know what I expected.. But it certainly wasn't this.

The newspapers had black front pages as a tribute to everyone on board. There were pictures of the pilot, the crew and the passengers plus a little of their background stories. There were families, a couple on their honeymoon, sisters, brothers parents... There was a baby on board. It hurt to look. Everywhere I turned, there was just more confirmation of the news I didn't want to hear. 

I didn't know anyone on board personally. But a friend of my grampa's had lost his son - the boy was going on a holiday to Beijing. I felt bad for the people on board and the families that had to go through the grief of losing someone. And the thought that it could have been someone I knew or cared about scared me. So badly that I needed to reach out to some people - my family, my friends, anyone at all - just to be reassured that they were there. I felt the need to let them know that I cared. I haven't been doing that for a long, long time now. I was tired of being hurt so I shut myself away. And now, my heart has been locked up for so long, I couldn't remember when was the last time I told my best friend I missed her. Or when I let someone give me a hug. I needed to change.

Because in the end, you'll only regret the things you didn't say or do. You'll remember all the hugs you didn't give and the I love yous that you held back. Not to mention all the sweets you passed on.

I discovered Eatthelove a little while ago - and fell in love with it straight away. Irvin is one of the funniest bloggers I've ever read and his recipes made me hungry. I literally LOLed when I read his posts and I must have bookmarked every single one of them to make. In the sadness of the previous few days, I went back to his blog, read it from head to tail all over again, and immediately knew which recipe I wanted, no, needed to make.

I changed it up, though, having craved for the chewiness of a blondie and also not having any raspberries at my immediately disposal (damn, those things are expensive here). The bars were chewy and yummy and the white chocolate and raspberry jam (he said not to use jam and I did, here I hang my head in shame) was sweet and comforting. I ate my way through what was nearly the whole pan in three days, then picked up my phone and began dialing some numbers.

Raspberry Blondies with White Chocolate Chunks

See the original recipe here.

85g butter

200g brown sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 1/2 large eggs (yes, this is awkward. But you could always use 1 large egg + 1 large yolk)

140g all purpose flour

55g almond meal

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp sea salt

125g white chocolate, chopped into chunks

1/3 cup raspberry jam

1. Preheat the oven to 170C. Line an 8 by 8 inch square pan with parchment paper.

2. Put the butter in a small saucepan and set it over medium heat. Let the butter melt, then continue heating it until it browns - it'll bubble up a lot at first, then the color will start to change. Swirl the pan so it browns evenly, then once it's brown and smells like caramel popcorn, pour it into a large bowl, making sure to scrape out all the brown bits as well. 

3. Immediately add the brown sugar to the butter and stir to mix the two. It'll be kind of dry and sandy but keep stirring so it cools down a little. Add the vanilla then crack in the eggs (or egg plus yolk) and stir until it forms a thick batter. Add the flour, almond meal, baking powder and salt, stir until just combined. Don't over mix this !

4. Stir in the chocolate chunks, then scrape the batter into the prepared pan. It'll be thick. Spread the batter evenly in the pan. Using a piping bag or a spoon, pipe or spread stripes of raspberry jam on the surface of the bars. Use a toothpick or a skewer to drag lines back and forth over the stripes to create a marble effect.

5. Bake the bars for 20 - 25 minutes, until the edges are darker brown and the centre looks set. Cool them completely before cutting into bars and serving - I love them cold from the fridge.

Rice Pudding Tartlets

Do you have any siblings ? And if so, are you the oldest ?

I tend to ask that question a lot. I'm not too sure why, maybe it's because I'm waiting for the other person to go "yes I do have one/two/seven siblings and I'm the oldest." Complete with an eye roll. I think many oldest siblings can relate.

Having brothers and sisters in the house is always an awesome feeling - it's merrier and louder (unless you're all as quiet as mouses, although I haven't met anyone who doesn't have a chatterbox in the family yet) and you get to do stuff together like watch movies and play hide and seek and annoy your parents to bits. But then when you're the oldest of the lot, you tend to get the most responsibilities, ie watching over the little ones in the absence of an adult and making sure they don't get into a fight and pull each other's hair out. That used to be mine. Until I got older and learnt how to drive. Then I became my sister's personal chauffeur. And caterer too, apparently.

I don't usually mind, seeing as I'm the one with the driving ability so I don't actually have to rely on anyone when I want to go out. The only hard part is having to accommodate my schedule so I can pick her up at two o' clock on the dot because she gets annoyed when I'm (or any of us, in fact) is even a nanosecond late. Ditto with the catering. She's a late riser, unlike me so when I pack her breakfast (or brunch) for her, she's still asleep. She'll totter around the house for a few hours after she wakes, from brushing her teeth to showering to ambling downstairs, till which by the time would have been a few hours after I set the packet of noodles down on the dining table. But if I decide to wait till she's ready then take her out to pack some food so she can get it, you know, warm, I'm met with icy glares and curt answers because she claims to be too hungry to do anything before she's eaten. Whaaat.

Any complains submitted to the authority, err, parents are unfortunately, taken with a pinch of salt. They just sort of pat me on the head and say "well, you are the older one." Which, to my nineteen year old self, seems about as good an explanation as wanting cakey brownies because you don't like dense ones. Wait I don't think that even makes sense.

But I digress. I am somewhat older than I was when I first heard my cousin say "她还小，让她一点” which basically means "she's still young, give her some respect." I was only eight or nine at the time and I couldn't wrap my kiddie brain around the fact that I was supposed to respect both my elders and the youngsters. But I did look up to him at the time, so whatever he said, I took very seriously. For many years, I did my best to show what I believed was a respectful attitude towards my family, the young and old ones alike. And while I do get into trouble for some stick-my-foot-into-my-mouth situations, I'd say I'm good so far. I mean, I am still living at home and no one has killed me yet.

Is there a moral to this thing ? Yes, I suppose there is. If you're the oldest and you have to do the most chores/errands/odds and ends, do it and bite your tongue. Swallow your pride, whatever. Trust me, you'll only regret the things you didn't do. And if you're the youngest, or one of, don't make the older sibling take a bajillion trips in and out of the house just because you want to get home before your lunch does.

I shall stop talking now and show you the rice pudding tartlets I made. Yes, it's rice pudding and yes, it's in a tart shell. Before you think ohmigod she put carbs in my carbs let me just say that these are quite small and the ingredients aren't all that fattening. There's milk and egg in them and everybody knows that those are basically miracle foods, what with the protein and calcium and all. Plus, when these puddings could have been fried into submission and made into some sweet arancini, they're more modestly baked and served with some jam. The pudding is quite light and it's not too sweet. The pastry is a dream to work with. They are good. And this is coming from someone who will only take her rice in risotto form.

Rice Pudding Tartlets (recipe adapted from here)

Makes 8 tartlets, plus some pudding leftover.

For the pudding:

500ml whole milk

150g pudding rice (I used arborio)

1 whole orange

1 tbsp vanilla extract

3 tbsp brown sugar

4g baking powder

1 large egg, separated

For the pastry:

100g all purpose flour

50g rice flour

75g brown sugar

75g butter

4g baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 large egg yolk

1. To make the pastry, sieve the flours into a bowl and whisk in the sugar, salt and baking powder. Dice the butter and add it to the flour mixture. Cut in the butter using a pastry cutter or two knives, or use your fingers to rub it in until it resembles fine breadcrumbs. Add the egg yolk and 2 tbsp of cold water, mixing just until it forms a soft dough. Wrap the dough in clingfilm and chill while you're making the pudding.

2. Zest the orange and squeeze out the juice. Put the zest into a pot with the milk and bring to a simmer. Add the rice and cook till it becomes soft and sticky, it'll take 15-20 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the orange juice, vanilla extract and 1 1/2 tbsp of the sugar. Leave to cool while you roll out the pastry.

3. Preheated oven to 170C. Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface until it's a 1/4 inch thick. Cut out circles and use them to line the cavities of a standard muffin tin - you should get about 8 shells, reroll the scraps and use it all. Put this back in the fridge to chill.

4. Mix the yolk into the pudding along with the baking powder. Whisk the white until frothy, then gradually add the sugar and whisk until stiff and glossy. Fold the whites into the pudding, taking care not to deflate the mixture too much.

5. Spoon the pudding into the tart shells, filling them quite full. If you have any leftover, just plop them into some greased ramekins (I got three extra). Bake the tartlets for 40 minutes, until golden at the edges and the bottoms (you can lift one out to check). Serve them warm or cold, with some jam since they aren't too sweet ;)

Lighter Chocolate Tart

I sit here and type this rather blearily since I have just woken up from a nap. I seem to have developed a dependence on them lately (wait, haven't I said this before ?) maybe the late night blog-reading using my ipad in the dark of my room has something to do with it.. But it's almost impossible for me to get through a day without flopping down on here couch during the afternoon and taking a good, long snooze. Too long, sometimes, which inevitably ends in me being unable to get any shut eye at my usual 10.30pm. Hence the, um, blog-reading. 

My house is still deprived of water as of now (10.05pm on a Sunday night - uh oh, I should really be in bed by now) and it's making my fellow house habitants act rather weird. Maybe except my sister, who usually couldn't be bothered by much that happens, unless it happens to be her not finishing her homework. My dad has been annoying himself to bits by tinkering with everything that can be tinkered with and wondering why there still isn't any water coming out from the tap. He really isn't home much on weekdays since his work needs him to be at the office till late evenings at best, and since there's a constant supply of water over there, he isn't used to being waterless at all. Hence the annoyed noises emanating from the kitchen-bathroom as I type. My mom, well when she's not trying to calm my dad down, she's either cleaning anything that doesn't require water to be cleaned or watching Korean dramas on the laptop or television and consequently falling asleep about halfway through. 

Me, I'm just pissed that I can't bake as often as I like. And also because I seem to be a human heating element so I'm constantly feeling waaay too hot - oh and I drink a lot of water. Like, up to 4 liters a day, easily. I have to carry a water bottle so big, it can't fit into those dainty little handbags that my friends carry around, which means I either have to tote a bag so big I can fit my house into it, or use my bag pack with its myriad of rainbow colors and diamond studded teddy bear attached to the zipper. The sheer weight of that bottle makes my shoulders ache when combined with the crazy amount of books and tools I have to lug around to class when I went to university. When I go on outings, the people I am out with are constantly horrified at the sight of the monstrosity that carries my water supply, and the feeling is multiplied as they watch me down the entire contents of said monstrosity in about two hours. What ? I run and sweat a lot. Get over it.

We're just about coping with the lack of water, but not baking is driving me mad. Can you get withdrawal symptoms from this ? 

Since I am resorting to posting about things I made awhile ago, let me talk about this chocolate tart that I mentioned about in my previous post. I did say that I made it because I wanted to lighten up a little, and while usually the words 'light' and 'dessert' don't usually go in the same sentence, this is one light dessert that you should try. It doesn't taste light at all, unless we're talking about the texture. Then it's light. Ethereally so, I might add, since it reminds me of a chocolate mousse in all its decadently fattening glory, without the actual fat. There are no weird ingredients in this tart either, not that I have anything against putting avocado in my brownies. Now that is good. 

To be honest, when I made this, I was craving for a chocolate ganache tart, one with a filling so thick and dense that a few bites in will have you practically begging for a glass of milk. I had tried one when I went out for a soirée with a friend a few weeks ago and I couldn't stop thinking about it - ugh. But then I gave this tart a chance and while it wasn't the chocolatey slap in the face I was looking for, this managed to scratch that chocolate itch with its suave, melt-in-your-mouth smoothness. You know how some people say "you can eat a slice or two without feeling weighed down"? Well, that rings true with this tart, you won't be weighed down either figuratively, literally or emotionally. I hope I got the words right.

Lighter Chocolate Tart

For the crust:

165g cookie crumbs (you can use Oreos, I used digestives)

70g butter, melted

For the filling:

100g dark chocolate, chopped

1 tbsp cocoa powder

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 tbsp semi-skimmed milk

2 medium egg whites

2 tbsp dark brown sugar

40g thick yogurt

1. Preheat the oven to 180C. Mix the butter with the cookie crumbs - it'll look like wet sand. Press the crumb mixture onto the base and up the sides of a 7" springform pan or deep, removable bottom tart tin. Make sure to really less down hard to get it compact, you wouldn't want it to fall apart on you later.

2. Bake the crust for 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and leave to cool completely (I put it in the freezer because I'm impatient like that).

3. To make the filling, put the chocolate in a big bowl with the cocoa powder and 1 tbsp of boiling water. Melt this over a double boiler, but don't overheat ! I usually just stir it until the chocolate has mostly melted then take it off the heat to let the chocolate melt completely. Cool the mixture slightly.

4. Stir the vanilla, milk and yogurt into the chocolate mixture until smooth. In another bowl, whip the egg whites until foamy. Add the brown sugar then whip until stiff, glossy peaks form. Fold a dollop of the whites into the chocolate mixture to lighten it a little, then gently fold in the remaining whites until no streaks of white remain. Pour this into the baked crust then refrigerate for at least 3 hours - overnight is best - until set.

5. Open the sides of the springform pan or place the tart tin on a can, then gently press the sides of the tin down, leaving the tart and the base of the tin on the can. Sift over a little cocoa powder before slicing and serving, if you like.

Sugar and Spice Madeleines

I made a chocolate tart today.

Well, I tried to make a chocolate tart today.

For some reason, my neighbourhood has been put on a water-rationing rotation for a month, which means two days with water, two days without water, then two days with water again and so on until the 31st of March. Not only does it mean that I can no longer take 73832746 showers a day when it's searingly hot, it also means I can't bake and my mom can't cook dinner. Or wash clothes or even fill up our water bottles with drinking water. 

Today is the second day that we do have water, so I took the opportunity to bake. I chose a light-ish chocolate tart because I have been consuming a ridiculous amount of fried foods and have been feeling a bit chunky lately. Why bake a chocolate tart when you feel chunky, I hear you ask. Because, well... I don't actually have an excuse. I tried distracting myself by baking a Swiss roll yesterday to scratch the baking itch and so I wouldn't stuff my face with it (I love making Swiss rolls but have enough restraint around them) but it just made the itch worse. I wanted cheesecake, which, come to think of it, isn't the best thing one can make when one wants to, erm, lighten up a little. Hence the lightened up chocolate tart, because it seemed like a reasonable compromise to my cheesecake cravings and expanding thighs. A side note on thighs - some people can put on fifteen pounds and look good or at least decently balanced out, meaning that the weight doesn't, you know, clump up in one place. As for me, be it five or ten or twenty pounds, it all goes to my thighs and face. Ugh. It's no fun not being able to pull on my jeans after a week of pigging out, or having my face become mysteriously rounder overnight after one sweet too many. Anyhoo, a light chocolate tart it would be. Is that even possible ? I'll get back to that later.

So I made the chocolate sable crust and rolled it out and fitted it into my cute little 7-inch springform tin (recent impulse buy) and put it into the oven. Then after I took it out and set it aside to cool, something went wrong somewhere and with a loud crash, the tin was on the floor and so was my crust, having fallen splat on the floor in a very cartoonish fashion. I stood there, stupefied, for a moment until my brain clicked and I gathered up the wreckage and threw it into the bin in a huff. At that point, I wanted to give up and march off to watch tv and sulk but then I decided to suck it up and make a cookie crust instead. And let me just say, there is something quite satisfiying about bashing the hell out of some digestives after ruining a perfectly good chocolate crust.

An hour later, the tart was safely transferred to the fridge, cookie crust and all. It needs a long chill in the icebox so I'll only be able to cut into it tomorrow. It does look good so far so my fingers are crossed. Which is why I am posting about madeleines today. Makes perfect sense.

I made these awhile ago, before the water rationing system began. I have been attempting to make madeleines for some time now but the results have been less than stellar because they were always too squishy or dry or spilled over the tin, but delicious nonetheless. It wasn't enough for me because I wanted them to have the characteristic hump that madeleines are supposed to have, although I'm quite charmed by the hump-less ones since they closely resemble some Chinese egg-cakes that my grampa used to give us (鸡蛋糕). Most recipes for madeleines called for chilling the batter for an hour/two hours/overnight before baking, or whipping the eggs silly before folding in the flour. This recipe that I used needed no chilling or arm-breaking whisk-work. Everything is just stirred together happily and some wonderful, magical, nutty smelling brown butter is mixed in. Bake, watch the humps grow (okay that sounds weird) and then eat with a cup of tea. 

Sugar and Spice Madeleines

Melted butter, for brushing the molds

55g plain flour

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp ground nutmeg

1/4 tsp ground mixed spice

1 egg

27g caster sugar

1 heaped tbsp brown sugar

1/4 tsp vanilla extract

45g butter

1. Preheat the oven to 190C. Brush the indents in a 12 she'll Madeleine tin with some of the melted butter and put the tin in the fridge. Once the butter has set, brush them again and return them to the fridge. It might seem a little strange for you to do this but it beats having to butter then flour them - makes a huuuge mess.

2. Sieve the flour, baking powder, salt and spices into a bowl. In another bowl, beat the egg and both sugars along with the vanilla extract until well blended. Don't worry about having to incorporate a lot of air into the egg, just whisk is well until the sugars and extract is mixed in. Stir in the flour mixture and set this aside.

3. Put the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat to melt it. Continue heating until the melted butter turns a nutty, golden brown - it'll foam up first so just keep swirling the pan. Take it off the heat once it starts browning and smells like popcorn (no kidding about both the popcorn and taking-off-the-heat part, you don't want to burn the butter) and pour it in a thin stream into the batter, whisking all the while. It's easier if you get someone to help you pour while you whisk. The batter will be thick and resemble gooey caramel.

4. Scoop a spoonful of batter into each indentation in the mold - it should be about three quarters full. Bake the madeleines for 5 minutes, then reduce the heat to 170C and bake them for another 10 minutes, until they're plump and springy to the touch and lightly browned all over. 

5. Remove them from the oven and tip them into a cooling rack to cool. Dust them with icing sugar before serving, if you like. Apparently they're best eaten fresh, as in a few hours after they're made, but I've stored them in an airtight container for a day or two and they're still perfectly tasty. The spices mellow out after the first day too.

*Note: the tin I have has only five indentations so while the first batch was baking, I put the batter in the fridge. I washed the tin and rebuttered it before filling it again. 

Chocolate Twiggies/Twinkies

[Rant mode on.]

People can be so thick.

The media has been buzzing with news about flight MH370 lately, which departed for Beijing yesterday. It was due to arrive in 6 hours but just 2 hours after the plane took off, all contact with the ground stations were cut off and the plane couldn't be located. The entire plane had vanished, 239 people on board and all.

Authorities have been questioned and the government has been interviewed but until now, there hasn't been any news other than two of the passengers apparently boarded the plane with stolen passports. Since there hasn't been any news of any wreckage, the most plausible assumption would be that the plane has been hijacked. While it isn't a good thing per se, it seems better than a plane crash because then everyone on board would still be alive and the chance for them to come home safely is still there. So why are people spreading rumors that the plane crashed ? Why is it that, when I log on to any social networking site (especially one that rhymes with Bacefook), I see people say, aside from the usual "pray for MH370" or "May the passengers be returned safely", "my condolences to the families of victims for their loss ?" While I deem the first two statements acceptable (even though there are some cynics who have questioned how many actually said a prayer for the passengers on board), I find the latter statement unnecessary. Come on people, no deaths have been confirmed, so stop acting like a know-it-all by saying that they'll never make it out alive. Have hope, please. 

Radio stations have taken to giving regular updates about any finds regarding this issue. Since there hasn't been anything new for, oh, the last ten hours or so, some have taken to interviewing some pilots/regular listeners/a lady who was supposed to be on the flight but didn't make it on board. Her excuse was that she just didn't feel like boarding the plane. Good for her, and believe me, while I am glad that it means once less person on board the missing plane, I was pretty annoyed when she announced that she didn't make it on board because "God had bigger plans for her" and that "she was born with a mission and she still had to fulfill it before she passed on." Lady, are you implying that the 239 missing people have no missions in life ? Or that God does not have any plans for them ? I choke on my green tea. Pah.

I am comforted in a way, to see that so many of us have put out wishes and prayers for the missing passengers, whether sincere or not (I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt). But still, there are some souls who, I suppose, mean well, but when they put their thoughts into words, make me want to thwack them with a frying pan. I guess the words sounded a lot better in their heads.

I refuse to give up hope. I believe that everyone on board that plane is still alive and I am hoping  and praying with all my might that they will all make it back safe and sound.

[Rant mode off.]

On a brighter note, I made Twinkies ! Or Twiggies, if you live in Malaysia like me (though I suspect Twiggies are a rip off the ol' American classic). I used to eat them for breakfast when I was a kid in primary school or bring to with me to school for recess breaks. Unlike the cool kids, I was never given enough pocket money to buy cafeteria food until I turned 14. Which meant around 11 years of bringing packed food in plastic tupperwares to school. Not that I minded, since most of the time it means French toast with sugar or muffins or sweet buns, and yes, Twiggies/Twinkies. Anyways my best friend's mom at the time, who would pick us both up after school, bought me ice cream on a regular basis. And I wondered why I was a chubby kid..

It's been years since I last had a Twiggie. Not only because I decided it would be better for my waistline to not eat the entire pack of two between my breakfast and lunch, and also having discovered the joys of scrambled eggs and nuggets for - erm, lunch. Oxymoron. But I digress. They just don't seem to taste as wonderful as they used to, or maybe that's because I don't have recess time snacking to look forward to anymore. Anyway, I decided to try making them at home, having spotted so many bloggers making them a little while ago (and at the same time making the discovery that these finger-canoe-cakes actually existed outside Malaysia, albeit under a different name). Did they turn out exactly as I remembered them ? No, because I don't remember how they tasted like when they were at their best. That was so many years ago. But these babies, the homemade ones, are softer and lighter than their factory-made counterparts, probably due to the beaten whites that are folded in at the last minute. I love the plain vanilla ones but my sister has been hinting at some chocolatey baked goods (this was the same person who said she was tired of brownies. Huh ?) so I added some cocoa powder into the batter. I wanted the filling to be creamy and sweet like I imagined it to be so I improvised and practically just threw the ingredients into the mixer. The recipe below is my approximate version of it so if it goes wrong, please let me know.

I've never seen the canoe molds anywhere around either, so I made my own using some foil and a spice bottle. It's kind of fun folding and crimping the foil, a little like being back in kindergarten, making boats out of paper to float on the ponds outside the class. See, there's something about recreating these childhood treats that makes you feel like you're five again. Other than popping a cold, chocolatey cake filled with sweet cream into your mouth without the hassle of having to head back to class after. And, for the record, regardless of what the original name is, they will always be Twiggies to me.

P.S: sorry about the ugly pictures. They're impossible to photograph - they look like brown logs. Taste a lot better, though.

P.P.S: do not overfill them. Tempting as it might seem, you could potentially end up with 10 exploded Twiggies. Not that it's a bad thing - the more filling, the merrier, I say - but then they might stick together when you try to put them away. That's when things really get messy. 

Chocolate Twiggies (Twinkies)

Recipe adapted from this site.

For the cake:
90g cake flour
13g cocoa powder
128g sugar
1/2 tbsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 1/2 tbsp vegetable oil
1/4 cup + 2 tbsp cold water

1 tsp vanilla extract
3 eggs, separated

1. Preheat the oven to 180C. Spray a canoe pan with non stick spray or butter them instead. If you don't have a canoe pan (which I don't), you can make your own Twinkie molds by following the instructions here. She even has pictures of how to make them !
2. In a bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking powder and salt. In a separate bowl, whisk together the vegetable oil, cold water, vanilla extract and egg yolks. Make a well in the dry ingredients and pour in the wet, stir until just combined.

3. In a stand mixer or by hand, whip the egg whites till they form stiff peaks. Fold in a quarter of the whites into the chocolate batter to lighten it a little, then fold in the rest of the whites in two batches. Do not over mix, just fold until you can't see streaks of white any more. 

4. Pour the batter into a measuring jug with a spout - this makes it easier to pour it into the molds. Pour the batter into the molds until they're 3/4 full, bake them for 10-15 minutes, until they spring back when lightly pressed and a skewer inserted comes out clean. 

5. Remove from the oven and let them cool for 10 minutes in the pans or molds. If using pans, turn them out onto wire racks to cool completely. If using the makeshift molds, carefully peel away the foil from the cakes and set them on wire racks to cool completely. Be careful as they're soft and fragile.

For the filling:
1 1/2 cups marshmallow creme
3 tbsp shortening
1/3 cup icing sugar
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup whipping cream

1. In a stand mixer fixed with the whisk attachment, beat the shortening until fluffy, then add the marshmallow cream and salt. Beat until incorporated.

2. Add the icing sugar and beat in. Pour in the whipping cream and turn the speed up to high and whip until the mixer is fluffy and holds firm peaks. 

3. Put the filling into a piping bag fitted with a plain tip. Pipe the filling into the bottom of the cakes in three places - just stick the tip of the piping bag into the bottom of the cake and squeeze in the filling. When it's full, you'll meet some resistance and the piping bag with be pushed out of the cake. You want to squeeze in a lot of filling but not so much that the cake explodes on you so fill with care. Once they've been filled, you can eat them straight away or just chill them in the refrigerator for 10 minutes so the filling sets up a little (my preference).

Kouign-Amann

Have you ever had one of those days where you just felt out of it ? When, despite the well-meant invitations of friends or family to get out and maybe catch up over tea and coffee, all you wanted to do was stay at home ? It was that sort of day for me yesterday.

My friend J had invited me to a little cafe along with another friend, L. I loved them both but it was just one of those days when I wanted to pull the blanket back over my head and stay in bed. I didn't, though. What I did do was tell myself I was being silly and proceeded to get my butt out of bed and go on my usual jog and cold shower before pulling on my favorite shirt and pants and driving myself off to meet them. I've had several of these kinds of days already, but whenever I do manage to make myself go out and meet up, I have never regretted a single minute. Even sitting there, not talking, is therapy in itself - I could feel the tension of the past week melting away. However, I'm not one to not talk so talk I did - and I went home during the evening with a bagful of pastries purchased from the cafe and a lighter, happier heart. Friends to that to you, I guess. And it wasn't till I actually saw them that I realized how much I had actually missed them.

Then I got home and switched on the television. Normally, the only shows I watch are on Food Network (I love Paula Deen and Alton Brown and don't even get me started on Iron Chef America) but my mom has gotten me hooked on Korean dramas and now, I can't stop watching them even if I threw the television out of the window. Especially the one that starts at 9pm - this one to be exact - has sunk its claws so deep into me that I can't eat/sleep/function normally without thinking about it. I'm not usually like this, I swear, but after watching six episodes in the last twenty hours, eight of which I spent sleeping, I found myself watching the latest episodes on my ipad when I was washing the leeks in the kitchen sink. It's that bad. Send help.

Fortunately, I baked some little pastries before I fell into this addiction (read: two days ago). Initially, I meant to make croissants at first, then I changed my mind and decided to make puff pastry instead. Then I couldn't decide what I actually wanted to make with the puff pastry so I made some kouign-amann in the end. According to the book I got the recipe from, kouign-amanns are 'cakes made with a buttery yeast dough.' I think they're a cross between croissants and puff pastry, in the sense that they're a little easier to shape and layer and more sugary because they have sugar worked into them as well as the usual butter. The book called for the use of cake flour instead of bread or all purpose flour though, and even though it puzzled me - yeasted recipes usually needed bread flour or at least all purpose flour - I went with it anyway. And let me tell you, don't. Please use all purpose flour (I've adjusted the recipe below) because the cake flour isn't strong enough to hold the dough together. I had issues with some butter squishing out when I was rolling and folding but otherwise, I managed to salvage the batch and churn out some pleasant looking/smelling/tasting kouign-amanns. And since it's as hot as the inside of my oven here these days, I had to work really quickly so I didn't melt the butter, which meant me forgetting to take some very important pictures of the rolling and folding process (this is me smacking my forehead in exasperation). 

Anyways, the process includes:

Wrapping the block of butter in the dough.

And rolling the dough out into a biiig rectangle.

 

Fold the left third of the rectangle over the middle third,

Then fold the right third over, like you would a letter.

Roll the dough out again and repeat.

When you roll it out a third time, sprinkle over some sugar.

Fold it in thirds again,

And roll it out and cut it into squares. Or in my case, elongated squares.

Press them into some muffin tins.

And fill th centrex with jam.

Bake until happily golden.

If you like croissants, do give these a try. They take some time but most of it is spent chilling the dough in the refrigerator, since the actual steps aren't that hard. And these are different from your usual kouign-amann because they have some sweet jam baked into the middle. You'll be rewarded when they bake up all buttery and golden, I promise. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go continue watching my drama.

Kouign-Amann

(Adapted from Pierre Herme's pastries)

5g instant yeast

140g lukewarm water

1/2 tbsp salt

10g butter, melted

225g all purpose flour

For the layers:

225g unsalted butter, cold

110g superfine granulated sugar

To assemble:

1/2 cup of thick jam of your choice, I used mixed berry

1. Put all the ingredients for the dough in the bowl of a stand mixer and mix on low speed to combine. Once the dough comes together, turn it out of the bowl and knead with your hands until smooth. Place in a lightly buttered bowl and cover, leave to rise for 30 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, place the butter between two sheets of parchment paper and used a rolling pin to pound it into a rough rectangle, around 7 by 6 inches. Chill until needed.

3. On a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough into a large square and turn it so that one of the points of the square are facing you, like a diamond. Place the block of butter in the middle of the diamond with a flat edge facing you. Fold over the points of the dough to completely encase the butter and press the edges of the dough together to seal it. Wrap it up in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 20 minutes. 

4. On a floured surface, roll the dough out into a rectangle three times longer that it is wide. Fold the dough in thirds lengthwise, the left third over the middle and the right third over the left, like you would a letter. Roll it out into a rectangle again and repeat the folding one more time. Wrap the dough and chill for an hour.

5. Roll our the chilled dough into a rectangle. Sprinkle over three quarters of the sugar and lightly press to adhere. Fold the dough in thirds again, then wrap it up and chill for 30 minutes.

6. Roll the dough out into a square 1/4 inch thick. Sprinkle with the remaining sugar and press to adhere. Slide the dough onto a parchment lined baking sheet and chill it for 30 minutes. After that, cut the chilled dough into 12 squares and place each square in a muffin tin. Press the middle in so the squares for little cups and place a generous teaspoon of jam in the middle. Fold over the edges of the squares so they cover up the jam a little. Set them aside and leave to rise at room temperature for 1 1/2 hours. Meanwhile, preheat the over to 180C.

7. Bake the pastries for 20-25 minutes, until golden brown and the jam is bubbly. Remove from the oven and cool in the tink for 10 minutes, then turn them out onto a wire rack to cool completely. They're best eaten on the day they're made, but they'll keep for another day in an airtight container.

Parmesan Pound Cake

I have obsession of sorts with cheese. I love it so much, I would just gnaw on a block of cheddar or Parmesan instead of grating it over my pasta like a normal person. I would also add so much cheese to anything I cooked (risotto, macaroni) that it would stretch from the spoon to my plate. I even love fake cheese - you know, the kind some fast food chains put on your potato wedges or fries ? Yeah. I always ordered so much extra of the cheese topping that a friend of mine said I ate the cheese with a side of wedges. I even bought a spray can of the cheese to eat with some crackers/veggies/more cheese/directly from the can because I was craving for it so badly.. I hope you're not making a disgusted face at me at the moment - what can I say, I do love my cheese. So when I saw a recipe for Parmesan pound cake - of all things - at this site here, I bookmarked it immediately and went shopping for a block of Parmesan cheese right after.

The recipe along with said block of cheese sat in my fridge for a week (the cheese, not the recipe. The latter was scrawled on a piece of paper and stuck to my fridge) or so until I finally had the chance to bake the cake. It did feel a little weird at first, putting a savory cheese into a pound cake but then I've seen Parmesan cookies and ice cream so I just went ahead with it and I must say, the smell of the cake baking is divine. Kind of like potato gratin and pound cake all merged into one, which, I guess is what makes up the cake anyway. It baked up nice and flat, I guess from the hefty amount of cheese I put into it, and the color was reminiscent of yes, baked potatoes with cheese. Yum.

I did alter the recipe a little though, because the recipe made a huge pan and I was afraid it wouldn't be well received by my taste testers, ie my family. I halved the recipe and made it in a loaf pan and prayed that the top would stay flat so I could take some pretty pictures of the cake. I also made some substitutions because I am a dunderhead and in the excitement of buying some cheese, I forgot to buy creme fraiche or any sour cream. Luckily, I had some yogurt stashed away in the fridge so into the batter it went. Don't be like me. Check you have everything first before you start baking. Anyways the recipe below is written the way I made it, but you can refer to the site for the original. 

The top puffed up a little after it came out of the oven but it flattened out nicely after it cooled. I was so giddy with excitement I wanted to smoosh my face into the pan and inhale all that golden goodness.

But I held out. Then I made some Parmesan fricos (just grate some cheese and dry-fry it in a nonstick pan over medium heat until it browns. Works like magic.) and cut a fat slice and attempted to take some pictures.

And then I ate it. And so did my family. The taste might seem different to you at first, because it definitely doesn't taste anything like your average pound cake. It's moist and dense and velvety and packed with all the cheesy flavours I just adore. Next time, I making the full recipe.

Parmesan Pound Cake

Adapted from the one I found on LunaCafe.

1 cup all purpose flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp sea salt

2 oz Parmesan cheese, grated

1/2 cup (4 oz) butter 

1 cup sugar

3 large eggs, lightly beaten

1 cup full fat yogurt

2 oz cream cheese, at room temperature

1. Line a 9 by 5 inch loaf pan with baking parchment. Preheat the oven to 350C.

2. Sift the flour, baking powder and salt into a bowl. Whisk in the grated Parmesan.

3. Cream the butter, cream cheese and sugar until light and fluffy, this might take up to 5 minutes. With the mixer running on medium speed, drizzle in the eggs a little at a time, mixing well after each addition. If the batter looks like it's about to curdle, turn up the speed and add the egg more slowly. Beat until smooth.

4. On low speed, add 1/4 of the flour mixture and mix until just incorporated. Add 1/3 of the yogurt, them mix until just incorporated. Add another 1/4 of the flour mixture and another 1/3 of the yogurt, repeating until both have been used up and ending with the flour mixture. Stop the mixer and fold in the remaining flour by hand. Do not over mix !

5. Pour the batter into the lined loaf pan and rap the pan on the counter once or twice to get rid of any large air pockets. Pop in the oven and bake for 40-45 minutes. Cool the cake in the pan on a wire rack.

6. Slice the cake as you would a normal loaf cake. Store it, well wrapped with plastic wrap so it doesn't dry out.