I am a chicken.
I had made up my mind to go to a certain somewhere (I'm not saying where exactly just yet) and ask if they're looking for part timers. I've been feeling jittery about it, though, and the reason for this is I've, um, been there before. As in, I know the people there. As in, they know who I am as well. I think I've been putting off going to ask for a job so long that I've managed to talk myself into thinking it's a stupid idea. What if they think I'm being weird for going to work there ? What if they see me in a different light after that ? What if they laugh in my face ? What if - I can't even bear to think about this - they don't want me there ?
Sigh.
Kids, the moral of the day is, don't put off anything you're nervous about for too long. Heck, don't put it off at all. If you have a tooth that needs to be pulled, go have it pulled. Or better yet, pull it out yourself. If you keep thinking "oh, I'll just do it tomorrow", chances are, you'll never get around to doing it and the tooth will have become so painful and achey that even the mere thought of touching it sends you into a nervous breakdown. Then you begin to regret never going to pull it out in the first place and all you do is lie on the couch whining in pain until your mom comes up with a pair of pliers and yanks the goddamn tooth out of your gob. I'm just sayin'.
I don't even know why I'm so scared. Okay, maybe I do. I had already dressed and was one shoe out of the door when I chickened out and kicked my shoe off and took refuge in the library upstairs. Then I texted my friend and asked if he could get the chef's number instead, so I could maybe text or call and not have to head there in person. I know, I know, I'm pathetic.
My mom doesn't get it, though. She was surprised to find me still at home when she got back from work, then when I tried to explain why I didn't go, I got frustrated and proceeded to burst into rather annoyed tears. The worst part was, I couldn't stop, and then my mom (who gives a gem of an advice when I need it but rarely coddles me - that's probably why I'm deprived of hugs) just waited till I calmed down and said that "I shouldn't be overthinking this, because I'm probably just another girl who wants to look for a part time job there."
Oh. That certainly puts things into perspective.
With a weight of my chest, I managed to crack a smile, then a laugh, then work up an appetite for dinner waaay too early. She took me out to get some food even though the sky wasn't even dark yet and it was so early, people would probably throw eggs at me if they knew what time I ate. Thanks, mom :)
Therefore, I hereby declare that I will go back there and I will ask if they have a job opening. Even if the opening is just for a month. Even if my knees shake and my palms sweat and I forget how to phrase a sentence (maybe not the latter because I am going to need to speak if I am to actually ask). This is so if I feel like chickening (is that even a word ?) out, I'll look back at this and feel horribly guilty and that'll prompt me to go anyway.
And now onto the muffins. I needed a one bowl recipe since water supply has been rationed for yet another month, and having too many bowls piling up in the sink would be a bad thing. So I thought, okay, muffins. Then I remembered that I spotted a recipe for roasted cocoa powder somewhere and then I thought, okay, chocolate muffins. And when chocolate muffins come about, you know there has to be chocolate chips. A chocolate muffin without chocolate chips is a sad chocolate muffin.
Have you ever heard of roasted cocoa powder ? Me neither. But it's impossible to get dark cocoa powder here, and I wanted my muffins to be black with cocoa. And if you've ever used the usual cocoa powder, or even Dutch processed, you'll know that they never come out looking that dark. Chocolatey, yes. But that wasn't enough. So I spread the cocoa out on my baking sheet and roasted it...
5 mins: nothing happened, gave it a stir.
10 mins: nothing happened, stirred it again.
15 mins: is anything ever going to happen ?
20 mins: ohcrapthere'ssmoke.
Luckily for me (and the muffins), it wasn't burnt. It smelled like roasted coffee beans though, and although I wasn't too sure if that was what it was supposed to be like, I went ahead and used it in the recipe anyway. You can see from my pictures that the muffins came out looking dark and mysterious and as black as midnight. My sister did try one a few minutes later and remarked they were yummy, but they weren't as chocolatey as she expected though. I'm not sure if it's because I over-roasted the cocoa/she has reaaaally high expectations of chocolatey things/roasted cocoa just tastes subtler. Oh well, back to the drawing board.
If you want to try roasting your own cocoa powder, refer to this post. I would recommend keeping an eye on them so you don't get them to smoking point, like me. I think they'll be more chocolate-tasting then.
Double Chocolate Muffins
Recipe adapted from The Pastry Affair
Makes 11
125g cake flour
44g roasted cocoa powder, or you use dark cocoa powder instead
50g buckwheat flour
100g brown sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract
60ml vegetable oil
250ml milk
80g chocolate chips, plus another handful to scatter over the top
1. Preheat the oven to 180C. Line a standard 12-hole muffin tin with cupcake liners.
2. Sift the cake flour, cocoa powder, buckwheat flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt into a bowl.
3. In another bowl, whisk together the egg, oil, vanilla extract and milk. Make a well in the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ingredients. Stir to form a batter but don't over mix this as a lumpy batter makes good muffins. Stir in the chocolate chips.
4. Fill up the muffin tin until each indent is 3/4 full. Sprinkle over the chocolate chips and bake the muffins for 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted comes out with moist crumbs. Cool them in the tin for 10 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool completely. Or you could eat them warm, because you know, warm muffins are the best thing ever.
No comments:
Post a Comment